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10 Fatal Mistakes Women Make In Relationships – An Inspiring Vision For Your Soul And Spirit!

Many women do not recognize that they have the power within themselves to live the life they really want. Too often, women find themselves losing that inner strength by falsifying an externally driven motivator: the expectations and demands of the relationships in their lives.

Relationships affect us in the three main dimensions of life: the physical, emotional and spiritual realms. When relationships are chaotic, abusive, or exhausting, they infringe on your body, mind, and spirit. A friend of mine recently broke up with a man she really cared about after learning about an affair she was having with someone else. Physically, he began to gain weight and his health became a problem. Mentally, he became depressed and his emotional well-being was affected. His spiritual life also suffered as he allowed the negativity of his situation to exclude positive spiritual influences and people from his life.

There are 10 fatal mistakes she made and other women seem to make in the relationships listed below:

1) TRUSTING TOO QUICKLY – Revealing many intimate details about your life without taking the time to assess whether this person is trustworthy can backfire. Real intimacy takes time and cannot be rushed.

2) VULNERABILITY: Knowing what your own wants and needs are can help decrease your vulnerability to being manipulated. For example, if security is important to you and someone promises it to you, you may fall for something based on that promise and it may lead you to a situation that will not deliver it at all.

3) CONFIGURE WITH LESS – Desperation to have someone, anyone, there can make you settle for less and less is not more when it comes to relationships in your life.

4) ACCEPTING DISRESPECT – Verbal and physical abuse is never acceptable in a relationship! Making excuses and accepting this behavior tears the deepest part of your being. Respect is not optional.

5) LOSING YOUR SENSE OF YOURSELF – Don’t let feelings of guilt or unworthiness rob you of your self-esteem. If you don’t love yourself, you can’t expect anyone to.

6) ISOLATION – Do not exclude positive sources or reject those who have your best interest at heart. Your support can be the link to safety.

7) LIVING IN THE NEGATIVE CIRCUMSTANCE – Being consumed by the situation in which it is all you think about, talk about and worry about. That doesn’t make it change, just taking steps to do something different can bring up a different answer.

8) TRY TO “CHANGE” IT – No one can make anyone different. People are who they are and when someone shows you their true face, look at them for what they are.

9) AVOIDING THE PAIN – Denying that you are suffering does not make the pain go away. You must deal with the problem at hand and make a decision about how you will handle it. Denial of what is happening will not stop the inner pain you feel.

10) REPLACEMENT SYNDROME – Running out to find someone else to fill the void of the terminated relationship. This can result in a double disaster, especially when you are attracted to the same type of person or situation. Take the time to clear your mind and heart. Wait a bit before starting another relationship.

It is important for women to recognize and understand that being whole – physically, emotionally, and spiritually – is key to experiencing relationships that contribute to a healthy and happy life. Being able to love and accept yourself is the first step in opening the exciting path of a beautiful and healthy relationship with another person.

Gloria Thomas Anderson, MSW

Columnist for: Inspiring Insights for Your Soul and Spirit!

© 2006 Heart Tones

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