Nicholas Strand’s new book Loving Someone Who Is Dying: Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life, documents the life story of his wife Brianna, their relationship, and most importantly, her courage as she spent her life learning to live with cystic fibrosis. (FQ). and don’t let it control your life. This book will show you that even in the face of all odds, you can have a positive outlook on life, enrich the world for those around you, and leave a legacy that will continue to inspire others.
It’s hard to describe Brianna in a few words. It had so many levels and strengths. However, her husband, Nick, captures her well when he explains what led to the photo of Brianna on the book cover:
“Her beauty was what caught the attention of most people. But her power was visible, letting her beauty take center stage politely. What was not seen was her temperature of 101 degrees, or that she took off her needle and put aside the IV jumps into her wedding dress and lets her beauty radiate. Yet she did it with ease, with no sign that she was in a constant war to keep her body alive. “
Brianna constantly radiated love, joy, support, kindness, and fun. As Nick shares, she refused to let CF control her. He had to be in control, and when CF took control, he was angry. Nick documents many examples of how Brianna was always one step ahead of CF. He was diagnosed with CF at a young age and told that he would not live past thirteen, but almost made it to thirty. In high school, she was heavily involved in 4-H, serving as an officer and giving speeches. Nick first put her into this organization and as he got to know her, rather than letting his CF dissuade him, he jumped on Brianna’s bandwagon and followed him to the end, supporting her in everything she did while always being amazed at how “Dazzling!” She was.
An example of how Brianna followed her dreams, despite CF, is reflected in her love for animals. She wanted to be a veterinarian, but her illness continued to hamper her education. Regardless, he found work at a veterinary clinic; She put CF aside in order to care for the animals, as well as to bring love and light into the lives of everyone who visited the clinic. Nick and her family often visited her at work and sometimes had to force her to leave work to focus on her CF rather than the animals.
Despite how her illness may have slowed her down, Brianna accepted the challenge to appear before the United States Senate to testify about the need for funding to learn more about CF. At the time, she was too sick to continue working, but she was still determined to help people through her testimony. In her testimony, she describes her relationship to her illness and why she wanted to share her story:
“I consider myself a stay at home mom to my son, CF. Like children, you have to constantly take care of CF and it is part of my life forever. It takes a village too … Don’t share my story to make you feel Pity me or pity me. We all have obstacles and limitations in life, but it is not about that limitation; it is about the power you give to that limitation. My hope is that by sharing my story today, you feel inspired and inspired to participate in funding new drug research and inspired to help make a difference for someone affected by these bacteria. Most importantly, I hope you use that inspiration to be a part of something life changing. “
At the end of her life, Brianna was still in control of her illness. He wanted his IVs removed before he went home from the hospital for the last time. Nick describes this as “a small victory for Brianna. Sure, CF would take her life, but it would in no way allow it to control her. Removing the IVs gave her a little freedom as her body shut down.”
Brianna’s story might have been sad, but these pages bear witness to a life filled with love. In fact, she and her husband in many ways had a fairytale relationship, despite the challenges. Nick states: “Overcoming those challenges made us stronger. The important thing is how you adapt, love and lean on each other for support. Be honest, clear and always work for a better life … Never hold a grudge for nothing, but always build a better team, constantly reviewing feelings, both positive and negative. Brianna and I never shy away from talking and making it clear what things made us feel good. they gave the opportunity to approach them. “
Beyond Brianna and her illness, Loving Someone Who is Dying is about how to love. Elevate love to a higher level. Brianna knew her time was limited, so she took every opportunity she had to make life as wonderful as possible for herself and others. Perhaps most revealing is Brianna’s response when a medical student once asked her if she wished she didn’t have CF: “Honestly, no. Having CF is part of what makes me who I am. It has taught me the power of my love. family; it gives me perspective on how to live each day to the fullest. “
The book’s subtitle, “Choose Your Attitude, Create Your Life” reflects Brianna’s favorite saying, which she coined. This is a woman who had every reason to be angry at the world, but she took her pain and suffering and chose to turn it into something beautiful. It is a lesson that we can all benefit from.