Relationship

ME First, juggling motherhood, career and love

Balancing motherhood with your career and love life can be a difficult juggling act to master. With all the demands you face from kids, work, and a partner, you may be struggling to keep your sanity. Being a mom is one of the hardest jobs in the world, and no amount of organizational skills can change that. There are a few ways you can improve your own emotional state along with the functioning of your home, career, and relationships.

Keep your balls in the air

• Make a schedule. Make a weekly schedule to allocate time for laundry, cooking, housework, and any other regular chores. Keep the schedule where you can see it every day and try to stick to it. Be sure to leave free space each day for downtime or scheduling lapses.

• Make time for romance. Whether you’re on the dating scene or happily married, make time for that special someone. Cook a candlelit dinner, rent a romantic movie, or try something new in the bedroom, even if you think you’re too tired.

• Get help. If your parents or neighbors offer to help you with the kids, don’t be embarrassed to accept them. You’d be surprised what a difference it can make when Grandma takes turns picking up her son from soccer practice once a month.

• Keep the kids busy. Don’t feel guilty about giving him daily chores. Even if you’re capable of doing it all yourself, give him age-appropriate responsibilities, like emptying the dishwasher or taking the kitchen trash out to the trash can. You will not only lighten your load, but you will also be building the character of your children.

The first is the first

• Treat yourself special. Putting yourself first might seem like a ridiculous proposition for a single mom caring for three kids and having a busy career. However, putting your happiness first is an important part of being the best mother, worker, and person you can be. Remember, we generally tend to project the mood we are in, so if you are happy, the people around you will also feel that happiness. Go get a pedicure while the kids are at their grandparents’ house. You deserve it.

• Enjoy a weekly date night. Being married doesn’t mean you have to be boring. Get a babysitter and go out with your love once a week for a romantic dinner. If you’re into the dating scene, go out with your boyfriend or spend a night alone at the movies.

• Make time for Girls’ Day. Every once in a while, try to meet up with your girlfriends for a day at the spa or a night of cocktails and gossip. Spending time with other women can be therapeutic and a lot of fun.

• Put your partner to work. Don’t be nagging, but tell him ahead of time that you need more help around the house. Maybe I could take the kids outside to play while you make dinner. Or could I vacuum the house while you take the girls to the ballet on Saturday?

The key to managing a house full of children, a budding career, and a satisfying relationship lies in finding balance. You can enjoy your life and put yourself first without neglecting your family, work or partner. Motherhood is a difficult but rewarding journey that requires tough skin, a tender heart, and a sense of humor. Above all, don’t feel guilty about taking care of yourself from time to time.

2011 Moira G. Gallaga©

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