Rick Horne provides insight into our current situation and how parents and others who work with adolescents can tackle the anger problem.

Both adults and adolescents are guilty of sinful actions and attitudes. Horne reminds us of this truth and throughout the book he uses Scripture to support his suggestions. When talking to teenagers, we must remember that they are not the only ones who sin. We should not ignore their sin, but by remembering our own tendencies we can open doors to reach teenagers. By determining to glorify God in our interactions, we present a posture that will lead teens to open up and speak up.

Horne uses many examples of adult-teenager interactions, some not-so-good examples and some better ones following his plan. Our author outlines and then suggests the following plan of action for parents or others working with the angry teen:

  • Ilisten big
  • againstlarify narrow
  • Iok wide
  • Psmall

listening big allows you to identify “wise wishes” that you can use to build a bridge with your teen. By pointing out to her teen that he has wise wishes and that he has been successful on at least one occasion, she encourages him not to give up. This requires you to be a thoughtful listener, checking to see that you understand what your teen is saying. Part of this is watching your teen’s body language and using your own in a positive way. Alternatively, the teen will say things like, “You don’t understand.” Or “You never listen to me.”

“The purpose in the heart of man is like deep water, but the man of understanding will draw it out.” Proverbs 20:5

clarifying narrow requires the firm foundation of the bridge you have built. Bringing the teen to recognize her “wise wishes” and that she has the power to choose wisely or lead poorly helps clarify her situation. This process helps the teen see cause and effect in her choices. Obviously, her relationship with Christ will affect how she chooses and how you address her.

“Good sense wins favour, but the way of the treacherous is their ruin.” Proverbs 13:15

looking wide for your teen’s solutions means finding exceptions to past behavior. In the past, she chose wisely and thus produced good results. This can provide a pattern and stimulus for future choices.

Paraphrase of Proverbs 30:24-28 “Seize the opportunities (as ants do), the places of refuge (as rabbits do), the ability to cooperate (as locusts do), and the perseverance (as lizards do) that your creator has given you.” Or “look at the resources God has placed in your past and present, and used them to create solutions to the challenges you face now.”

Horne gives some sage advice by saying that we need to recognize that our teen’s resistance may mean we’re pushing our own solution instead of allowing him to discover his.

little planning it reminds us not to expect too much too soon. Setting an achievable goal lays the foundation for long-term resetting of more achievable goals. These goals must also be specific so that they can be measurable.

Once your teen has taken a small step in the right direction, you need to keep the conversation going by guiding them to continue setting specific, measurable, and achievable goals. Finally, in the last chapter, the author reminds us that the ultimate goal is to point our teen to the cross.

Solomon warned the young people that “there is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it is the way of death.” Proverbs 14:12

Rick Horne has done a great job of providing good information for parents and others working with angry teens. This book is a must read! Other Horne books include: Get off my case and walk through the college planning process All are available through http://www.amazon.com