Family Court relies on the “he said/she said” argument and it is up to the judge to determine which events are actually factual or what combination of events actually occurred. Basically, the judges sit down to what is being said and usually based on how good the actor on the stand is, they make their decision.

I have personally seen a case where a father has physically injured his son, who required hospital treatment, to have the child returned to him because he cried on the stand and posed as a victim. Child Protective Services concluded that the case was baseless and that the child was denied protection from further physical injury due to the father’s wonderful acting skills and ability to manipulate the people around him. There is only one way to put an end to this and that is to document correctly.

Lawyers tell their clients, “Document, document, document,” but what they don’t tell clients is how to document your case effectively. How do you create this documentation to support the claims you’re making and make it easier for lawyers to prove what’s going on?

Let’s face it, there is no judge to sit down and read 100 pages of documentation. Everything becomes just words, but when you take those words and document them correctly, patterns of behavior emerge. You can prove what happened before an incident, cycles of behavior that are indicative of abuse, and clusters of behavior patterns.

Knowing how to document correctly will eliminate the “he said/she said” from the court process. Your ex will no longer be able to say, “He never lets the kids call me” or “She refuses to let them go on my days.” Many of the false claims that your ex will try to make can be eliminated if you are thorough and know what you are doing. Just like any claim you’re trying to make to prove your ex’s behavior will become apparent.

The first step in this process is education. By gaining an understanding of personality disorders, how to test clusters of behavior patterns, knowing how to keep an accurate journal and spreadsheets, you are taking the first steps in building a strong custody case for yourself, your child, and your attorney. .

Accurate documentation will eliminate what he/she said from your divorce and bring peace and happiness to your family.