Several years ago, I looked at this mountain of debt for a total of a good $ 30k. I looked at my bills, looked at the huge amount I owed, and thought to myself …
Where did it all go?
When I looked around, I didn’t see anything worth much. He had a car, but it was on loan. I had a mortgaged house, but I mean credit card debt. Where was all that? Where were the “things” for these $ 30,000 bills?
As I pondered this, I realized that he was gone. That, the problem was not my income. I did enough. The problem wasn’t that my bills were too high, they were in line with the average American. The problem was … ME. It takes a completely honest look in the mirror to say that. And it bothered me a lot. But, as my human nature would say, I am not a person to stand still. I want to know why.
So, I started this quest to find out where the money went. I reviewed all my statements; I received previous statements that were sent to me. He had to know what he was spending this money on.
The answer saddened me even more. It was all stupid things! Fast food here, shopping sprees there, clothes shopping, things that didn’t matter. Things that I told myself that I somehow deserve and that I would be happy if I got them.
I learned that I was spending money trying to fill this void in my heart. To try to make me feel good about myself, because I knew I was rotten. He knew that he had sinned. He knew he was not right before God. But I did not care. I wanted happiness, regardless of the cost, but on my terms; on my way. Even without being willing to give my life to the only one who could fill that empty space in my soul, I made a vow that I have kept ever since.
I would no longer spend on credit.
Well now I know someone choked somewhere reading that. And when you make a promise like that, just hope that everyone hears it and throws everything at you to stop you. And … it was very difficult. I was a hypocrite in a banker who follows. He knew all the rules. I knew what to do, I taught others. I took care of other people’s accounts and showed them how to save money, how to spend wisely, how to balance, but my own account was not practicing what I preached … and no one knew. Because I could put on my business suit, work in a certain place, and automatically gain respect from living what I taught. It could be easily hidden. It’s not like we have a stamp on our forehead of how much we owe. So, I hid it, hoping it would disappear.
But, he was tired of hiding it, and more than that, he was tired of the emotional roller coaster of ups and downs. Spending would give me a high. When I received the invoices, it was at a low level. Up and down, up and down, all the time.
I heard this amazing tip on how to freeze your credit when you don’t want to use it. It was a common bankers term, but I took it literally.
I put my credit card in a bowl of cold water and put it in the freezer!
You see … whenever you want to make a purchase that is a smart purchase, you usually have some time to raise the funds. Bad spending is impulsive buying and I was good at that. I thought if I really needed something on credit, I could think about it for a few days, let my ice melt, and if my ice melted and I still wanted it, then well, I could get it. After a few times of that, out of sheer laziness, I kept the card frozen! LOL.
So that’s how I started my journey of not using my credit card. It was a long trip. At first it was more difficult, like losing a loved one, but over time, each day you move on, it gets easier. It’s easier to tell yourself “NO, I don’t need that!” Days turn into months and months turn into years, and your focus may be on paying down debt, not acquiring something that’s not worth unfreezing your credit card for. Finally, I canceled the credit cards, one by one. I’d pay them, one by one, and cancel.
It is not an exciting path, it is a difficult path, but I am here to tell you today that it is the most joyous path. I am no longer a slave to my flesh. I am no longer a slave to my loans. My car is paid for, everything I have is paid for. I have no debt. I am free to buy what I want, when I want WITH CASH. If it’s a large amount, I save it until I have the money. And I can easily save because I have been doing it for more than 10 years.
My simple answer when someone asks me how to live a debt free life in a world full of debt is this …
If you don’t have cash to pay for it, don’t buy it.