The main reason we don’t stop doing something we would like to do is fear! If you think you are addicted to pornography and have not taken action, it is probably because you are afraid.
It is healthy to admit that you are afraid, worried, or anxious. To do so requires strength. If you need support, talk to someone you can trust. When you express your worries and anxieties, they lose their power.
We are all afraid of something. You’re not alone! We are afraid to change and afraid of what will happen if we don’t change. We are afraid of hurting someone or that someone will hurt us. We are afraid of losing control and being too controlling. We fear bad things will happen and good things will not happen. We are afraid of what we are and what we could be. These are universal fears. All the world has them.
If you’re addicted to pornography, you probably also fear attending 12-step groups and speaking in front of others. If you are addicted to pornography, you may fear having to talk to a therapist, a minister, or your partner about your addiction.
One of the biggest fears a porn addict has is getting close to others! It’s easy to sit in front of a computer and satisfy your sexual needs, but a relationship means expressing feelings, becoming vulnerable, and getting closer. There is nowhere to hide in real face-to-face relationships.
There is never a perfect time to kick the porn. You will never get rid of fear. You have two options. You can continue to be obsessed with kicking pornography by allowing your fear to hold you back or you can take action and starve your fear out with prayer, trust, and courage.
Think of your future filled with infinite possibilities! Doesn’t that sound better than a future filled with more pornography, shame, and guilt?
When you consider yourself and your life, don’t think about what you are not, think about what you are. You are not your past. You are unlimited potential waiting to happen.
Your future is in your hands. You are important and you are worthy. You deserve real relationships, with real people… connection, love, fun, fellowship and everything you can imagine.
What if you spend the time you spend on pornography on the people around you and on the people you could be with? How would your life change?
One of the rewards of kicking the porn is having time to pursue your goals. When you’re no longer thinking about your next “fix,” you have an opportunity to get ahead in life by pursuing your dreams. Your time, talents and money will no longer be wasted. You will have time and energy to enjoy hobbies, friends, and family.
You are 100% responsible for your life. Wherever you are today is because of the choices you have made in the past. The good news is that once you have the opportunity to change your future by making better decisions today!
The following are options to live without fear:
1. Imagine what your life would be like without pornography. What would you do with your time? Who would you spend it with and what would you be doing. How would your life change? What would it look like?
2. Expect to do it. Get rid of doubts. What you expect you get. If you expect to succeed, you will. If you expect to fail, you will. Remember that you deserve a good life. You deserve real loving relationships and everything that goes with them.
3. Let go of your fear. Fear is a negative thought. It spreads like a deadly virus. Negative thoughts and thoughts about your next fix of porn block your miracle. Have hope and replace the fear and thoughts of using pornography with positive memories about your friends, good times or music.
4. Open up to the new life ahead of you. We often think that we need to know exactly what our future will look like. That’s controlling and impossible. When you make the decision to quit smoking, others will come your way in life to help you keep going! It will seem magical.
5. Imagine the new you. Do you want more enthusiasm, self-confidence, and less guilt and shame? So look at yourself that way. Fake it until you make it. You deserve the best despite your past.
6. Do not talk about doubts, fears or limits to others. Just talk about your desire, strength and commitment. May your attention expand. Talk about your success.
8.Pray. Works. Pray for yourself. Pray for others. Pray for your enemies. Pray for the porn industry, pornographers, and porn stars. Feel compassion and love for yourself and others.
9. Don’t expect perfection. If you make a mistake, get back on the right path immediately.
Relapse is part of the process. Refuse to condemn yourself. Don’t use it as an excuse to quit. Keep going. Nobody is perfect.