The official term for a “football widow” is any woman involved in a relationship with a sports fan (often a football, soccer or rugby fan) who pays more attention to the game than their partner during the season of sport game. . Soccer widows often have little or no interest in the sport.
These women are left to fend for themselves during the NFL season. If you don’t believe me, go online and read some of the football blogs. These poor forsaken women are pouring out their souls to anyone who will listen.
They can be found at local grocery stores for beer, chicken wings, and nacho chips. They’re easy to spot because there won’t be a husband or boyfriend for miles; the men are at home warming up the sofa and big screen tv.
It is rumored that these men sit in front of their televisions so long that cobwebs begin to grow. You will recognize them on Monday morning because they will have spiders nesting in their hair.
I have been a fan of the NFL for over 30 years. I have NFL memorabilia, pictures and glasses from my favorite team. I am a recovering NFL addict and try to limit myself to watching no more than 4 games a week.
Most women don’t understand the craziness that takes over a man during an NFL game.
They can’t explain what makes a grown man put on a Viking helmet or wear a pig’s dress and snout and call himself a “pig”.
I don’t understand the madness either. Just the thought of a 300-pound linebacker crushing a 200-pound quarterback is enough to send me over the edge.
Being a former addict, I can offer some helpful advice to the soccer widow. Give your man chores that she can complete while he’s sitting on the couch. For example, my wife gives me clothes to fold while I watch the games.
My final solution is to use this time to bond with your man…since you can’t legally beat him, why not bond with him?
Ladies, I suggest you go to the library and borrow a soccer guide. If you inform yourself, you can sit down with your man and enjoy the game with him.
Trust me, he’ll be impressed when you tell him a sack is when the quarterback gets tackled behind the line of scrimmage and not what he got his beer on.