10. Get inspired.

Think of an anecdote or personal trait that makes this person special to you and write it down.

Example: For the grandfather of a bar mitzvah boy who recently passed away, the notes one might write about him are as follows:

He was Irish, Catholic, not Jewish. He was so proud of the man David is becoming. He lived in Florida and made David feel safe in Florida by telling him that his home was really David’s home in Florida, so David never felt homesick in Florida. He was a baker, he made bread at the kitchen table without a bowl, he made a lake in the middle of the flour. There has to be something about David remembering him making loaf bread at the table. The candle will be lit by Grandpa’s brother, Uncle Frank and Aunt Marianne. This is the first family reunion without him.

With a little work you can turn it into this:

My grandfather who I love so much

He recently passed away, but I know he’s close.

His was my second home in Florida, of this I know

He told me how proud he was as he watched me grow.

Grandpa was a baker and bread always made it.

With flour on the table, in the center he made a lake

This candle is to honor him, that has been my plan

Come light it up with me, Uncle Frank and Aunt Marianne.

9. Make poems from 4 to 8 lines.

Too few will be difficult to get your message across and too many can bore your audience.

8. Try to keep each poem the same length.

You don’t want Grandma to be upset that she got 4 lines when Uncle Bill got 8.

7. If you’re having trouble finding a word that rhymes with another word, you can choose a different word (like “great” instead of “good” or “sweet” instead of “nice”) or try going to http:// www.rhymezone.com/

It’s an excellent online rhyming dictionary that comes in handy for those hard-to-rhyme words.

6. Try to make the first line rhyme with the second line and the third line should rhyme with the fourth line.

It is an AABBCCDD pattern that makes it easy to read and find a rhyming word.

5. If you know who you want to call to light the candle, look for a word that rhymes with their name.

With you as a family, I am never alone… (and end the line with) Come on, Uncle Bill and Aunt Joan.

4. An easy method to use is to find a last line that rhymes with the number you are on.

For example:

Grandma’s kitchen always tastes like heaven,

So go upstairs and light candle number eleven.

3. There are some catchy phrases you can use for any poem, like:

…Love you…

Come light candle number two.

Y…

“To my aunt and uncle, whom I truly adore,

Please come and light candle number four.”

Here’s an example of how to turn the notes you jot down into a poem. To Grandma & PopPop: Michael is her first and only grandchild, he slept there every Friday for the first 2 years of his life and still sleeps over sometimes. They took him skiing for the first time when he was 4 years old, they take him to the movies, they play cards, you name it, they do it for him!

Turn that into:

Here are two special people that I love and adore.

I was introduced to skiing when I was a four year old.

I have learned a lot from both of you about being a good friend.

Whether at the movies or playing cards, there are endless laughs.

When I was little I stayed with them almost every Friday night.

Grandma & PopPop is number twelve, I’d love your help to ignite

2. If there is someone on the list that your family knows, but you don’t know them that well, be sure to talk to their family and get a sense of who they are and why they are special.

Example:

To a very dear friend of Mom and Dad’s: JoAnn. Steven’s mother has known JoAnn since they were 6 years old, and of course JoAnn has known Steven since her birth. She helped the family a lot when mom and dad were going through a divorce. She helped move them from Staten Island to NJ, she stayed there for 2 weeks to help them settle in. Always there for mom, serious or fun… she’s so much fun to be around.

Turn that into:

The next candle is for a family friend who is always there in a bind.

She has known me since I was born and she has known Mom since they were six years old.

From Staten Island to New Jersey, he helped us with our move.

Two weeks kept us company, until we got into a groove

It’s always fun to be around, which is why I’m such a fan.

Please come to sail eleven, dear friend of Mom’s, JoAnn.

1. When in doubt, go to a professional who will write the poems for you and allow you to focus on all the other things you have to do when becoming a bar or bat mitzvah. Visit me at http://www.thepoemlady.com or email [email protected]. I will write candle lighting poems for you based on the information you provide. I also help choose the songs and make all the work effortless. The poems are sweet and funny. You can even print them out and roll them into a scroll and give them to the candlelighters as they come up so they can take home their personalized poem.

Most importantly, just remember to have fun and enjoy your special day.