Don’t let the same dog bite you twice.
~Chuck Berry
Have you been bitten by the same “dog” more than twice? What about three times? More times than you care to remember? Maybe one of your New Year’s resolutions is to stop that “dog” from biting you once and for all.
Do you agree that this is a problem? Allowing a dog to “bite” you repeatedly when you know you are hurting yourself and others? If not, please bookmark this page and check back when you can honestly answer “Yes.”
Denial
Denial or refusing to accept that something is wrong is a way of dealing with emotional conflict, painful thoughts, threatening information, and anxiety.
When we are in denial we:
- Refusing to admit a problem or stressful situation
- Avoid facing the facts of the situation, and
- Minimize the consequences of the situation.
Denial is the first thing we need to deal with before we can begin to beat the “dog” in our lives. The “dogs” are varied in type and size:
- Eat excessively
- Drug and alcohol addiction
- shopping addiction
- sex addiction
- relationship addiction
- play
FEAR (False expectation that seems real)
Unfortunately, some of us have been bitten by our “dog” for so long that we have come to accept it as part of our lives. We cannot imagine life without him, we are afraid to imagine life without our dog.
camaraderie
While some of us are capable of dealing with our dogs on our own, for most of us our best efforts have only gotten us to where we are today: bitten, bitten, and bitten again. We need to partner with someone who is safe and who we can trust to help us get over our dog.
This partner must be someone to whom we can be open, transparent and accountable. There are support and recovery groups available for every addiction out there. Joining a group will allow you to get a sponsor, someone who has been where you are and can guide you on your path to freedom.
In addition to joining a support group, consider seeing a therapist. In many cases, our destructive behaviors are based on our family background. A trained therapist can help you uncover the root(s) of your behavior and provide strategies and ways to bring healing into your life.
daily
Keep journals identifying the events, your thoughts, feelings, etc. This will help you piece together the circumstances that led up to the next time the “dog” in your life began to show its teeth at you. The information you record will help you come up with a plan to move the dog away the next time he is faced with the same circumstances. Your goal here is to identify your triggers, or in other words, what sets you up for the dog bite.
replacing the dog
Get a new pet to replace your “dog,” one that you can enjoy without being bitten. For example, replace overeating with prayer, reading, or going for a walk. Fill the void with something other than food.
conclusion
If you are bitten again, don’t consider it a failure, but rather use it as a growing point where you review what happened, identify what caused the “dog” to move, and come up with a plan to prevent it from happening again. You are a champion and champions always rise one more time than they fall. The way you treat your “dog” will serve as a model for your wife and family when dealing with their own dogs. He keeps lifting you up and start living above the influence.