The pain caused by infidelity is unbearable. When your spouse cheats on you with a family member, the pain is magnified because you have been betrayed by two people you love.
Why did my family member do this?
You may never know why. An explanation will certainly be given, but it may not solve the problem in your mind. You can spend hours and hours of energy trying to figure out why. It may be a better idea to focus on what to do with your marriage.
Why did my spouse do this?
Cheating is mostly emotional. For some reason, his spouse felt an emotional connection to his family. However, this does not excuse the behavior.
What do I do now?
Although two relationships in her life are in crisis, the decisions related to her marriage are the most pressing. You have to decide if you want to work to save the marriage. If so, due to the nature of the situation, it would be wise not to try to figure things out alone. The chances of reconciliation and a long-lasting marriage will be greatly improved if you both agree to use professional help. A good counselor will work with you as a couple and individually as well. This is important. Before you can have a complete marriage, you need to be complete individuals.
If you and your spouse are committed to keeping your marriage together, you may want to establish security measures to help ensure that your family member cannot easily communicate with your spouse. It’s easy to block email addresses or phone numbers. However, the main and best safeguard is your partner. Your spouse should be open with you and tell you immediately about any attempts to contact your relative.
What about my relative?
Family members can’t get divorced, so there’s no way to cut this person out of your life forever. Invariably, both will be present at weddings, funerals, and graduations. Unless you don’t attend any family events for the rest of your life, you will see this relative occasionally. This means that there must be some kind of reconciliation; they need to be able to be civil with each other. Otherwise, each encounter will be a miserable experience for both you and the rest of the family.
unpleasant circumstances
Infidelity with a family member is one of the worst types of extramarital involvement. It affects not only the married couple, but the family as a whole. Once exposed, the matter takes on a life of its own as everyone in the family begins to weigh in on the matter and try to establish blame. People start to take sides and the family is divided.
Often, the faithful spouse is put under undue pressure to file for divorce. Talk of forgiveness and keeping a marriage together is met with hostility. The family may want you to forgive your relative, but not your spouse. Innocent of any wrongdoing, he is asked to choose a side. Any support from your family to keep your marriage intact may be minimal.
Even if you don’t face the best of circumstances, your marriage can survive this ordeal with the right help and determination. Make sure that all the decisions you make are your own and not dictated by your family or others.